Humor saves the day. Dafinitions
#1
Posted 2006-May-01, 13:44
eg.
Comptriller : An accountant who likes to sing bank notes.
#2
Posted 2006-May-01, 17:15
A servile self-seeker who attempts to win favor by flattering influential people thru the phone lines (ie, internet, cell phone, etc)
#3
Posted 2006-May-02, 07:42
......WHERE CHANGING A LETTER CAN MAKE A WOR_D OF DIFFERENCE.
It's career day, and look what people are doing for a living!
Accountent; a circus administrater.
Administrayer; an office worker who can never be found at his desk.
Bater; a hands-on profession that you might not want to master.
Bitcher; they sell meat and complain a lot.
Cardinul; a religious leader who doesn't know how to deal.
Chaufleur; a driver for the "head" of the market. (Quebec only)
Comptriller; an accountant who likes to sing bank notes.
Consulcant; you hire them to tell you how not to do things.
Diplosat; what they spend most of their time doing.
Enginear; a scientist who is always "in your face".
Evandelist; preaches the gospel according to Saint Lucre.
Gymlast; an unsuccessful acrobat.
Intelpreter; explains how computers work.
Libratian; a kid who won't lend you his books.
Lumberback; what he does after a day's work.
Palitician; pretends to be your friend until he has your vote.
Palots; how much they receive each week for flying those planes.
Politeman; always tells criminals "Please stop, or I'll shoot!".
Prograber; a job that has to be taken seriously.
Raperboy; delivers more than the morning gazette.
Reautician; regrets having chosen hair-styling as a career.
Scienpist; a university graduate with "attitude".
Shephard; a real animal lover.
Short older cook; recently down-sized but has been able to find work.
Sleeplejack; never has to worry about asking for his job back.
Soldeer; mercenary willing to go to war for a "buck".
Solesman; hopes that you will buy that pair of shoes.
Stenograpler; what she usually does with the boss.
Stevedope; responsible for off-loading drug shipments.
Superviper; a boss who's a "snake in the grass".
Superviler; the superviper's boss.
Taxidrivel; invariably the nature of their conversation.
Teachar; shows you how to find the answers to burning questions.
Translater; a United Nations linguist who's a bit slow.
Vice-precident; always the first one to do something bad.
Vile-president; R.M. Nixon; W.J. Clinton etc. etc.
#6
Posted 2006-May-03, 01:39
Here are the 2003 winners:
- Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
- Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
- Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
- Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
- Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
- Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
- Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
- Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
- Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
- Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
- Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
- Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
- Glibido: All talk and no action.
- Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
- Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
- Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
- Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
- Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
#7
Posted 2006-May-03, 17:44
#8
Posted 2006-May-09, 18:48
The first Hybrid motorcycle!
Click on the link below...
The first Hybrid motorcycle
http://www.rvi.net/~...dmotorcycle.htm
#9
Posted 2006-May-10, 09:58
#10
Posted 2006-May-31, 09:16
"Peempt" - When you can't really decide which level of bid to make so you say "Ah piss on it" and chose one.
#11
Posted 2006-May-31, 17:21
#12
Posted 2006-June-01, 09:16
High Carp Points - A fishy way of evaluating your hand.
Funesse - A finesse that makes when you really needed it to.
Squeezy - A simple squeeze.
Retoke - Illegally playing a card of the wrong suit because you got high (it makes more sense if you're familiar with the song).
Lead out of turd - A crappy choice of opening lead.
Blockwood - Asking for aces preemptively just to keep the opponents out of the auction.
Backlash - What you get from your partner when you mess up this squeeze play.
Transfir - Your partner forces you to bid a suit and you've got tree of dem.
Okay, I'll stop now.
#13
Posted 2006-June-01, 09:18
#14
Posted 2006-June-01, 09:24
Al_U_Card, on Jun 1 2006, 10:18 AM, said:
I couldn't agree with you more. Not to worry, the stopping is only temporary until my medication wears off again.
#15
Posted 2006-June-16, 14:12
Executricks ... a prostitute catering for the professional clientele.
Psyche (pron. sahy-kee): The human soul, spirit or mind (derived, personification thereof, beloved of Eros, Greek myth).
Masterminding (pron. mstr-mnding) tr. v. - Any bid made by bridge player with which partner disagrees.
"Gentlemen, when the barrage lifts." 9th battalion, King's own Yorkshire light infantry,
2000 years earlier: "morituri te salutant"
"I will be with you, whatever". Blair to Bush, precursor to invasion of Iraq
#16
Posted 2006-June-23, 08:57
So many experts, not enough X cards.