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Rudeness Is Rampant

#1 User is offline   PamelaD32 

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Posted 2021-May-09, 06:52

I love bridge. Iíve been playing about five years, and Iím not perfect. I take lessons and read on my own and try to improve. I was taught that one of the main rules of bridge is courtesy. You should never berate your partner or opponent, or give unsolicited advice. I have been shocked and discouraged by the rudeness and arrogance of many, many BBO players, both to me and to one another, resulting in an atmosphere of tension and unpleasantness that is completely contrary to the game. And thatís what it is - a game. The immaturity of someone who loses their temper over a mistake or a different manner of bidding or playing the hand is incomprehensible to me. It has gotten to the point that people comment if they manage to find a nice table or pleasant partner, and thatís sad. BBO needs to do a better job of banning rude players.
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#2 User is offline   Douglas43 

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Posted 2021-May-09, 10:33

View PostPamelaD32, on 2021-May-09, 06:52, said:

I love bridge. I've been playing about five years, and I'm not perfect. I take lessons and read on my own and try to improve. I was taught that one of the main rules of bridge is courtesy. You should never berate your partner or opponent, or give unsolicited advice. I have been shocked and discouraged by the rudeness and arrogance of many, many BBO players, both to me and to one another, resulting in an atmosphere of tension and unpleasantness that is completely contrary to the game. And that's what it is - a game. The immaturity of someone who loses their temper over a mistake or a different manner of bidding or playing the hand is incomprehensible to me. It has gotten to the point that people comment if they manage to find a nice table or pleasant partner, and that's sad. BBO needs to do a better job of banning rude players.


I mainly play in local club events run online and an EBU event. If you can join a club event I'd recommend it
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#3 User is offline   PamelaD32 

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Posted 2021-May-09, 10:52

View PostDouglas43, on 2021-May-09, 10:33, said:

I mainly play in local club events run online and an EBU event. If you can join a club event I'd recommend it



Thank you, thatís a good idea.
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#4 User is offline   mycroft 

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Posted 2021-May-09, 13:27

Absolutely, goal #1 of BBO is "get out of the permanent floating pickup pool". Because the people that are in it (at least the ones that *stay* in it) are the ones who can't keep a partner. There are many reasons why, but "I don't care how good you are, you aren't paying me enough to play another hand with you" is definitely one of the big ones.

Whether it's "find a club game with a director who will enforce basic propriety", or "find a partner, and ask for partnerships when you play", or...
When I go to sea, don't fear for me, Fear For The Storm -- Birdie and the Swansong (tSCoSI)
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#5 User is offline   Chas_P 

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Posted 2021-May-09, 17:24

View PostPamelaD32, on 2021-May-09, 06:52, said:

BBO needs to do a better job of banning rude players.

It's not possible. BBO can scramble the password of a rude player so that they can't log in again with the same username but all that player does is create a new username and continue his obnoxious behavior. Try playing in WP Refugees. Most players there are congenial.

#6 User is offline   pilowsky 

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Posted 2021-May-09, 20:03

'warning: this post contains mild satire and a little bit of sarcasm.'
Unsolicited advice is one of the fun things about Bridge.
It comes in many wonderful forms.
Mostly from real World Experts that know every convention and system but are kind enough to play with you.
Often, their profile will say "I'LL PLAY YOUR CARD" - which sounds a bit like an internet scam.

After playing a couple of hands they will start to explain where you went wrong - super helpful.
A few hands later they will explain why "your system card is all wrong".
This advice is so helpful that I immediately offer to work with them to make a system card that is "all right".
Subsequent advice generally starts to come in the form of "Your leads are wrong".
and "why didn't you double?".
Or "my double of 4 Spades obviously meant diamonds and clubs with a 3244 distribution. Why didn't you bid?"

These people are terrific partners in all forms of the game - especially IMPs where the downside possibilities are almost endless.
I just make a note about their kindness on their profile and go back to simpler tasks - like teaching camels needlework.
non est deus ex machina; šven maskiner behŲver lite kšrlek, J'ai toujours misť sur l'ťtrange gentillesse des robots.
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#7 User is offline   PamelaD32 

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Posted 2021-May-10, 04:37

View Postmycroft, on 2021-May-09, 13:27, said:

Absolutely, goal #1 of BBO is "get out of the permanent floating pickup pool". Because the people that are in it (at least the ones that *stay* in it) are the ones who can't keep a partner. There are many reasons why, but "I don't care how good you are, you aren't paying me enough to play another hand with you" is definitely one of the big ones.

Whether it's "find a club game with a director who will enforce basic propriety", or "find a partner, and ask for partnerships when you play", or...


Thank you. Thatís an excellent suggestion about finding a partner. I play with my old bridge club once a week, but I didnít know you could ask for a partner otherwise.
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#8 User is offline   PamelaD32 

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Posted 2021-May-10, 04:38

View PostChas_P, on 2021-May-09, 17:24, said:

It's not possible. BBO can scramble the password of a rude player so that they can't log in again with the same username but all that player does is create a new username and continue his obnoxious behavior. Try playing in WP Refugees. Most players there are congenial.


Thank you so much. Good point about the username. Iíll try the refugees. ❤️
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#9 User is offline   PamelaD32 

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Posted 2021-May-10, 04:42

View Postpilowsky, on 2021-May-09, 20:03, said:

'warning: this post contains mild satire and a little bit of sarcasm.'
Unsolicited advice is one of the fun things about Bridge.
It comes in many wonderful forms.
Mostly from real World Experts that know every convention and system but are kind enough to play with you.
Often, their profile will say "I'LL PLAY YOUR CARD" - which sounds a bit like an internet scam.

After playing a couple of hands they will start to explain where you went wrong - super helpful.
A few hands later they will explain why "your system card is all wrong".
This advice is so helpful that I immediately offer to work with them to make a system card that is "all right".
Subsequent advice generally starts to come in the form of "Your leads are wrong".
and "why didn't you double?".
Or "my double of 4 Spades obviously meant diamonds and clubs with a 3244 distribution. Why didn't you bid?"

These people are terrific partners in all forms of the game - especially IMPs where the downside possibilities are almost endless.
I just make a note about their kindness on their profile and go back to simpler tasks - like teaching camels needlework.


Thank you for the laugh. Yes, it’s remarkable how very helpful these players are, and willing to share their superior knowledge with an inferior being like myself. I seem to be lucky in my ability to attract them. ��]
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#10 User is offline   pilowsky 

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Posted 2021-May-10, 04:51

Quote

Thank you for the laugh. Yes, it's remarkable how very helpful these players are, and willing to share their superior knowledge with an inferior being like myself. I seem to be lucky in my ability to attract them. 😂]


I know what you mean, it's a very common experience. Just remember - they are the ones with the disease.
non est deus ex machina; šven maskiner behŲver lite kšrlek, J'ai toujours misť sur l'ťtrange gentillesse des robots.
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#11 User is offline   Hoggbaum 

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Posted 2021-May-20, 09:59

I have only just joined and am surprised that there is no check on rude and insulting behaviour.
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#12 User is offline   pescetom 

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Posted 2021-May-20, 16:27

View PostHoggbaum, on 2021-May-20, 09:59, said:

I have only just joined and am surprised that there is no check on rude and insulting behaviour.


You can take a screenshot and report to abuse@bridgebase.com : I haven't tried recently but it used to be effective, at least in the sense that it was acknowledged and apparently initiated some process. You can also defend yourself a bit by making a note in their profile (the best feature of BBO) and maybe setting them as enemy.
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#13 User is offline   mycroft 

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Posted 2021-May-21, 08:29

1. Yes, abuse@ is the way to go. They do in fact deal with things (although you will not be notified what they did).

2. The permanent floating pickup pool has many wonderful people in it. It also has a high proportion of players who can't keep partners. Very few of those are in that category because of their (lack of) bridge skills. Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to find one or two of the former, and yeet you and they out of the permanent floating pickup pool.

3. Trying to automate this is a recipe for disaster. If not for "rude is in the eye of the beholder" (I remember being told that "the director 'went into a flat spin'" when a newer player alerted 1m-1-1 as "5+". I bet it was "that's not Alertable" and the combination of the shocked reaction and the opponent being the playing director led it to be taken much more harshly than meant), or the fact that this is a multi-lingual community and there's just too many rudenesses available, there's also the tables of friends whose natural banter is - more in keeping with conversations in the bar than at the bridge table. When I play with D. against P. and D., in a random Alberta-Saskatchewan team game, I would expect the language to start at offensive and continue only downwards. If anyone had a problem with that, it would (mostly) stop; but that's what we're there for (well, the company and the bridge, I guess). Should that be stopped?
When I go to sea, don't fear for me, Fear For The Storm -- Birdie and the Swansong (tSCoSI)
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