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North would have been better off to double 5S, with an ace and four spades to the jack, but we still did okay, as only one pair beat us - a pair that doubled 5S and beat it THREE (!) when the GIBBO "declarer" completely butchered the play.
In fact, the board was played a total of 26 times, in four different contracts, and almost every time, a GIBBO robot butchered either the defence or the declarer play. Not exactly a surprise, since the GIBBO robots rot at everything bridge-related. Maybe they make good cheese sandwiches. Maybe they can do SOMETHING. But if so, it's certainly not ANYTHING related to bridge.
BTW, at my table (linked at the bottom here, as usual), the GIB definitions were pathetic, also as usual. Not exactly a surprise there either. I won't even bother criticizing the hopeless, inaccurate bridge stuff in the useless GIB definitions on this hand, but I will point out the useless, totally unnecessary, insulting, annoying introductory comments on some of the GIB bilge. To wit (beginnings only):
1H: "Major-suit opening".
1S: "One-level overcall".
2H: "Free major raise".
Seriously, now: Is ANY of that garbage necessary?
https://www.bridgeba...C3%7Cmc%7C10%7C
Benellis58 GIB bashing on repeat Groundhog Day
#2282
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,312
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 15:30
No, Mr. East, don't even DREAM of leading your...SUIT.
And Mr. West, what a positively BRILLIANT move you made by OVERTAKING (!!!) East's club ten with your...KING.
So tell me, gentlemen, how did those two SUPER-intelligent decisions work out for you?
(What a sad, typical pair of GIBBO...I.D.I.O.T.S.!)
https://www.bridgeba...C9%7Cmc%7C12%7C
And Mr. West, what a positively BRILLIANT move you made by OVERTAKING (!!!) East's club ten with your...KING.
So tell me, gentlemen, how did those two SUPER-intelligent decisions work out for you?
(What a sad, typical pair of GIBBO...I.D.I.O.T.S.!)
https://www.bridgeba...C9%7Cmc%7C12%7C
#2283
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,312
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 15:49
Not as bad a lead as the one in post # 2282 immediately above, but not exactly a candidate for Best Lead of the Year either.
And note that even after the less than effective lead, Frick and Frack defended in such a lackadaisical, sloppy, and grossly inefficient way that I had no fear whatsoever of trying for MORE than the 9 top tricks I had after West's uninspired lead. Against anyone with an inkling of how to defend, I would have been a LOT less brave than I was against these two worthless GIBBO hacks.
https://www.bridgeba...SJ%7Cpc%7CSA%7C
And note that even after the less than effective lead, Frick and Frack defended in such a lackadaisical, sloppy, and grossly inefficient way that I had no fear whatsoever of trying for MORE than the 9 top tricks I had after West's uninspired lead. Against anyone with an inkling of how to defend, I would have been a LOT less brave than I was against these two worthless GIBBO hacks.
https://www.bridgeba...SJ%7Cpc%7CSA%7C
#2284
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,312
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 16:02
We missed the cold slam but luckily got a decent score anyway. The only reason I am posting the hand is to expose one more of the countless pathetic GIB definitions...which showcases how unworkable the illogical, antiquated, redundant, and hilarious GIBBO joke of a system is.
Over East's 2D opener, THIS is how a bid of FOUR diamonds would have been defined: "27+ HCP; forcing to 4NT". That's IT, that's ALL. For some reason, I guess ONE person in the universe thought that this would be a valuable use for a 4D call. ONE person...in the UNIVERSE. Quite a coincidence that that ONE person must have been the one who created the GIBBO system.
https://www.bridgeba...SJ%7Cmc%7C13%7C
Over East's 2D opener, THIS is how a bid of FOUR diamonds would have been defined: "27+ HCP; forcing to 4NT". That's IT, that's ALL. For some reason, I guess ONE person in the universe thought that this would be a valuable use for a 4D call. ONE person...in the UNIVERSE. Quite a coincidence that that ONE person must have been the one who created the GIBBO system.
https://www.bridgeba...SJ%7Cmc%7C13%7C
#2285
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,312
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 16:09
East plays a HEART at trick four! Even within the context of GIBBO's constant, unending stupidity, where we EXPECT robotic ignorance, this is AMAZING!
https://www.bridgeba...D8%7Cpc%7CDJ%7C
https://www.bridgeba...D8%7Cpc%7CDJ%7C
#2286
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,312
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 18:57
How stupid are the GIBBO robots? Stupid enough to lead a DIAMOND on THIS auction:
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/5476jm73
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/5476jm73
#2287
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,312
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 19:06
How stupid are the GIBBO robots? Stupid enough to bid 3H for absolutely NO reason, thereby turning the EW plus into a minus - one of the specialties of these sickeningly imbecilic GIBBO pieces of trash.
And note that although it worked out okay here, North...of COURSE...led the suit that an OPPONENT had opened.
Please send these incompetent jabronis on a rocket to Jupiter, hopefully with not enough fuel. And please replace them with robots who have at least a TINY clue about the game of bridge.
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/ym7z4dfc
And note that although it worked out okay here, North...of COURSE...led the suit that an OPPONENT had opened.
Please send these incompetent jabronis on a rocket to Jupiter, hopefully with not enough fuel. And please replace them with robots who have at least a TINY clue about the game of bridge.
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/ym7z4dfc
#2288
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,312
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 19:57
I, South, deal and open 1C. Johnny Halfwit in the West doubles, North (my dimwitted GIBBO "partner") passes, and Donald J. Dumbo in the East...passes.
Gulp! I know that, as they say in The Bronx, "this AIN'T gonna be good."
Redouble by me SHOULD be to run, but I'm not going to risk that with a GIBBO "partner", so I run to 1D. The GIB definition is, as you would expect, so disgustingly ridiculous that it gives me a chuckle despite the dire straits that I know I am in: "4+ clubs; 11-21 HCP; 3-card clubs; biddable diamonds; 12-22 total points". Seriously? Someone somewhere actually went out of his way to write this utter nonsense? The first thing it says is that the call shows "four plus clubs". The third thing it says is that the bid shows "3-card clubs". Sure didn't take very long for the club length to SHRINK, did it?
Halfwit and my "partner" both pass, so I'm getting my hopes up, but unfortunately Dumbo doubles.
I check the GIB definition and discover that it's pathetic as usual: "5+ clubs; 4- hearts; 4- spades; 11+ HCP; biddable diamonds". Of COURSE it doesn't bother to answer the CENTRAL question: What KIND of double is it? But from the description ("biddable diamonds"), it SEEMS to be a penalty double. BTW, East...of COURSE...did NOT have the "11+ HCP" that GIB "promised".
In any case, if something walks like a duck and talks like a duck, there's a good chance that it's a...DUCK, and since this double walked and talked like a PENALTY double, I ran again...this time to 1H.
The GIB definition of my 1H brings gales of laughter, because it's the most hopeless of all on this hand: "5+ clubs; 5+ hearts; 11-21 HCP; 3-card clubs; biddable diamonds; 12-22 total points". So THIS time the first thing it says is that I have "FIVE (!) PLUS clubs" and the fourth thing it says...in the SAME definition is that I have "3-card clubs". Oh yeah, THAT'S consistent. Oh yeah, THAT'S intelligent. And apparently I have FIVE (!) hearts...but chose to open one CLUB, which is EITHER a suit with "5+ cards" OR a "3-card club suit". And then, AFTER opening the club suit with the SHIFTING length, I apparently NEXT bid one DIAMOND...despite having "FIVE PLUS HEARTS"! Again, SOMEONE...SOMEWHERE...actually WROTE this gibberish and presumably thought it was a PERFECT definition! I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm afraid I must opine that the definition's author is probably NOT on the short list for the next Nobel Prize in Literature!
I was VERY pleased to see that everyone...PASSED (yay!) and the final contact was 1H by me, South,...NOT doubled.
Had I luckily caught my "partner" with heart length?
No, not on your life: he had only TWO of them...which was hilarious. How had these East-West GIBBO jabronis FAILED to hit this? Well, I guess Johnny Halfwit was ASLEEP - surprisingly, because HE usually stays awake. He plays consistently horribly, but at least he doesn't usually nod off in the middle of a hand. That's DUMBO'S specialty!
Anyway, having escaped the axe, thanks to the drowsiness of the two EW twits, we had the pleasant surprise of getting a decent score on the board, as Halfwit missed the train and the ship sailed without Dumbo.
The Everly Brothers once released an album called "Two Yanks in England". Halfwit and Dumbo should release a video called "Two C.R.E.T.I.N.S. in Bizarro World".
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/87rz7fyb
Gulp! I know that, as they say in The Bronx, "this AIN'T gonna be good."
Redouble by me SHOULD be to run, but I'm not going to risk that with a GIBBO "partner", so I run to 1D. The GIB definition is, as you would expect, so disgustingly ridiculous that it gives me a chuckle despite the dire straits that I know I am in: "4+ clubs; 11-21 HCP; 3-card clubs; biddable diamonds; 12-22 total points". Seriously? Someone somewhere actually went out of his way to write this utter nonsense? The first thing it says is that the call shows "four plus clubs". The third thing it says is that the bid shows "3-card clubs". Sure didn't take very long for the club length to SHRINK, did it?
Halfwit and my "partner" both pass, so I'm getting my hopes up, but unfortunately Dumbo doubles.
I check the GIB definition and discover that it's pathetic as usual: "5+ clubs; 4- hearts; 4- spades; 11+ HCP; biddable diamonds". Of COURSE it doesn't bother to answer the CENTRAL question: What KIND of double is it? But from the description ("biddable diamonds"), it SEEMS to be a penalty double. BTW, East...of COURSE...did NOT have the "11+ HCP" that GIB "promised".
In any case, if something walks like a duck and talks like a duck, there's a good chance that it's a...DUCK, and since this double walked and talked like a PENALTY double, I ran again...this time to 1H.
The GIB definition of my 1H brings gales of laughter, because it's the most hopeless of all on this hand: "5+ clubs; 5+ hearts; 11-21 HCP; 3-card clubs; biddable diamonds; 12-22 total points". So THIS time the first thing it says is that I have "FIVE (!) PLUS clubs" and the fourth thing it says...in the SAME definition is that I have "3-card clubs". Oh yeah, THAT'S consistent. Oh yeah, THAT'S intelligent. And apparently I have FIVE (!) hearts...but chose to open one CLUB, which is EITHER a suit with "5+ cards" OR a "3-card club suit". And then, AFTER opening the club suit with the SHIFTING length, I apparently NEXT bid one DIAMOND...despite having "FIVE PLUS HEARTS"! Again, SOMEONE...SOMEWHERE...actually WROTE this gibberish and presumably thought it was a PERFECT definition! I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm afraid I must opine that the definition's author is probably NOT on the short list for the next Nobel Prize in Literature!
I was VERY pleased to see that everyone...PASSED (yay!) and the final contact was 1H by me, South,...NOT doubled.
Had I luckily caught my "partner" with heart length?
No, not on your life: he had only TWO of them...which was hilarious. How had these East-West GIBBO jabronis FAILED to hit this? Well, I guess Johnny Halfwit was ASLEEP - surprisingly, because HE usually stays awake. He plays consistently horribly, but at least he doesn't usually nod off in the middle of a hand. That's DUMBO'S specialty!
Anyway, having escaped the axe, thanks to the drowsiness of the two EW twits, we had the pleasant surprise of getting a decent score on the board, as Halfwit missed the train and the ship sailed without Dumbo.
The Everly Brothers once released an album called "Two Yanks in England". Halfwit and Dumbo should release a video called "Two C.R.E.T.I.N.S. in Bizarro World".
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/87rz7fyb
#2289
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,312
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 20:29
For a lark, I decide to canapé the South hand in fourth seat. I end up declaring THREE hearts in a FOUR-TWO fit, but that's no problem at ALL with GIBBO robots "defending".
To his credit, despite the fact that it happens to be ineffective, West actually makes a NORMAL lead of the jack of clubs. I win in dummy and lead a diamond. East pops his ace and returns a heart, which is definitely NOT best for his side. West wins his queen and very GENEROUSLY (and VERY STUPIDLY!) cashes hos diamond king (imbecile!) before playing another heart. This allows me to pull ALL enemy trumps, knock out the diamond queen, and claim nine tricks.
My constructive suggestion to all GIBBO robots: Give up bridge (forever!) and find another hobby. Maybe there is SOMETHING you could do without being a worldwide laughingstock.
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8mz8y6
To his credit, despite the fact that it happens to be ineffective, West actually makes a NORMAL lead of the jack of clubs. I win in dummy and lead a diamond. East pops his ace and returns a heart, which is definitely NOT best for his side. West wins his queen and very GENEROUSLY (and VERY STUPIDLY!) cashes hos diamond king (imbecile!) before playing another heart. This allows me to pull ALL enemy trumps, knock out the diamond queen, and claim nine tricks.
My constructive suggestion to all GIBBO robots: Give up bridge (forever!) and find another hobby. Maybe there is SOMETHING you could do without being a worldwide laughingstock.
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8mz8y6
#2290
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,312
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 20:36
On West's lead, my 3S contract is cold, but why is North bidding three CLUBS? It (sigh!) doesn't even match his own GIB definition...not that THAT is headline news for these nincompoops.
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/252t789z
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/252t789z